Sunday, January 8, 2012

Ok, so I lied

My previous post was supposed to be the next 5 things I lost in my obesity, but I only posted 3.  I guess I lied (or I can't count-which is highly likely having gone to Cheney High School).  How many of you have a list like this?  How many of you are willing to admit that you have lost your life as a result of your weight?  How many of you think that you are actually going to die sooner if you don't make healthier choices?  I know that, in the middle of my worst eating, I believed that it would happen to someone else. My dear friend Crystl said to me - 'You used to always say you are fat, but you are healthy.  That just isn't true.  You are sick all the time.'  Denial?  I think so!  I believe that there are times when I still am in denial about my weight and health.  I wonder when I will be able to completely conquer this monster?   I don't know, but I do know that I am no longer going to be in denial which will keep me ready to focus and fight off the obesity beast.

9.  Ride in a plane.  While 600+ lbs, you really can't ride in an airplane and keep any modicum of pride.  People will make fun of you.  People will complain that you are taking their space.  Let's face it - space is a precious commodity on an airplane and even normal weight people don't often have enough room.  I still have not been in a plane, but it's not because of my obesity.  It is because I can't afford an airplane ride ;)

10.  Clip my own toenails.  I had to ask my husband to do it.  I had to have him do pretty much anything that required that I bend or maneuver around my mass.  I could have went to the pedicurist, but...

11.   Fit in the pedicurist chair.  600+ lbs is a lot of weight.  You don't fit in many places.  Most pedicure chairs will fit you, but you have to sort of climb up into them.  That's not something I could do.  Thus, I had to have my husband do my toenails.  I now, lovingly, go and get my toes done as much as I need because I CAN DO IT!

12.  Walk into a room without everyone starting - I would like to think that if people are staring now they are doing so because I am glamorous and not frightening.  I remember when I tried to go to a gym one time.  Everyone around me was staring because I was so sweaty and my face was so red.  Someone even asked me if I was having a heart attack - no, I was just moving my 600+ lb. mass.

13.  Fit in the dentist's chair - I had to maneuver in and hope that one of the arms would move up.  It was always humiliating.  And then, the people in the office are embarrassed and upset because they can't accommodate me.  When people say that their obesity doesn't impact anyone but themselves, I argue differently.  My obesity impacted everyone around me - in one way or another.

14.  While we are talking professional chairs - I couldn't fit in many waiting room chairs.  I actually broke a chair/bench in my son's eye doctor's office.  I was mortified.  I sat down, and the chair fell apart.  I landed on the floor, and the entire office was shocked.  People snickered.  I was so embarrassed.  And then I had to have the conversation about whether I needed to pay for what I broke.  They told me no but I am sure that they weren't happy that I single-handedly broke their bench.

15.  Tie my own shoes - I could tie my shoes, but they would be to the side of the shoes.  And I always tied by shoes in double knots so that they wouldn't untie and I wouldn't be forced to re-tie them on the street or in public.  It would be impossible to just bend over and tie them back up.  (BTW, I can do tie my shoes and wear NORMAL people boots now - not the wide leg ones).

What types of things are holding you back?  You might not be struggling with obesity and food, but there are probably things that you are allowing hold you back.  Today is as good a day as any to get those things back in order in your life...

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